Monday, May 11, 2009

We're adults. When did that happen? And how do we make it stop? #14

How does time fly by so quickly? I am finishing up final papers and tests and will be graduating THIS WEEKEND! I should be excited but I really don’t feel like it’s that big a deal. After already having gone through two graduations (high school and undergrad), I just can’t get that excited. Especially when my future is in limbo.

That’s right, no job yet. And I haven’t heard back from College B. Which, I am not even sure it would be the right move to take that position if it was offered. I know people tell me not to worry about making a decision until I actually have to make it, but I can’t help thinking of the pros and cons of that position and “if I would take it…” or “if I didn’t take it…” I wish my mind would just STOP THINKING!!!!!!!!!!! That’s my biggest wish most of the time. Stop thinking. Stop thinking. Stop thinking. I think more than anyone I know. I am always thinking ahead or worrying about something: job search, relationships, etc. etc. I hate it.

I am just really in a bad mental place. I am not super excited about any position I think about right now. Not even the ones in fields I always thought I wanted to go into. It’s probably because my personal life is falling apart, but that’s just another story I don’t want to get into….

So that’s where I am. Basically back at square one.

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